There is some absolute nonsense in the media about Manchester United because clicks..
Danger! Danger! High voltage!
Mediawatch loves an explainer. So explain away, Sun website…
‘Chelsea in danger of missing out on top four – here’s how Arsenal and Tottenham can pip rivals to Champions League spots’
Is it by winning most of their games while Chelsea lose some of theirs? Yes, yes it is. By the way, Chelsea are still 1/20 to claim a top-four place. ‘Danger’ might be just a tad disingenuous.
The above story is what happens after a weekend when very little actually changes in the Premier League. At this juncture, Manchester United drawing at home to Leicester City surprises nobody, least of all a prospective managerial candidate, And yet, David McDonnell of the Daily Mirror somehow believes this could put off Erik ten Hag or somebody else.
‘There is so much wrong with this United squad and the entire structure around the team, it is difficult to know where to begin.
‘It has reached the stage where contenders for the vacant manager’s job may think twice about accepting the role, such is the scale of the task that awaits whoever is brave – or foolish – enough to take it on.’
Sorry but not a chance. This is a dream job precisely because Manchester United have fallen so far. Taking over the champions from Sir Alex Ferguson was a poisoned chalice; taking over the Premier League’s sixth or seventh-best team from, well, nobody, is the absolute dream scenario. Nobody blames you if you f*** up from here and everybody lauds you if you improve United, as any half-decent coach surely will.
McDonnell then dismisses Ralf Rangnick’s claim that United might need only “two or three transfer windows” to address their failings, which is in direct contrast to this headline on MailOnline, who deem this the biggest story in football right now:
‘Ralf Rangnick warns it could take 18 MONTHS to fix Manchester United’s many issues in a DAMNING assessment of his team, who he says do not have the right ‘DNA’ – and lack ‘physicality and aggression”
Are those capitals supposed to make us think that 18 MONTHS is a LONG time? Because most Manchester United fans would snatch your hand off for a ‘fixed’ club in less than two years. It’s not so much DAMNING as hopelessly sodding OPTIMISTIC.
More charm than good
Mediawatch is long past the point when we are surprised by any nonsense designed purely to garner clicks but this from Patrick Austen-Hardy (he has form) on the Mirror website really is absolute bollocks.
He takes a short news piece from the Italian press that contains this sentence – ‘Il Manchester United con la possibile partenza di Marcus Rashford potrebbe lanciare un’offensiva per il giocatore dell’Ajax’ and then runs it through Google translate to get this: ‘Manchester United with the possible departure of Marcus Rashford could launch an offensive for the Ajax player.’
Indeed they could. But that’s the only mention of Manchester United in the really quite brief article, which also makes it clear that Ajax are very much the favourites in any race for Ajax forward Antony.
So where does Austen-Hardy end up?
‘Man Utd’s ‘charm offensive’ for Marcus Rashford replacement with Erik ten Hag blessing’
Oh do f*** off. ‘Charm offensive’ means something else entirely, and we really do mean entirely. It intimates that there have already been conversations between Manchester United and Antony. And it absolutely intimates that these conversations come with the blessing of potential manager Erik ten Hag. The reality? A website in Italy has said that Manchester United could move for a Brazilian forward from a Dutch club. And that’s it. All. Everything. Tout. Tutti.
Climb every mountain higher
But there are clicks to be had from Manchester United and they are to be eked out any which way. By hook or by crook. Like this:
‘Donny van de Beek dealt fresh blow after Everton message that could ring true at Man Utd’
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you sell a Van de Beek injury that came shortly after he said that Everton (not Manchester United) had to “stand up and take some responsibility”.
They’re called Reach for a reason.
Over at the Express website, they are searching for the magic number when it comes to Manchester United and Erik ten Hag.
‘Erik ten Hag in line for Manchester United job due to one reason claims Rio Ferdinand’
‘Erik ten Hag is a risk for Manchester United hierarchy because of two people’
‘Man Utd told to axe three big-money flops if Erik Ten Hag takes over’
‘Manchester United likely to do four things in potential Erik ten Hag announcement’
‘Man Utd’s ideal summer with Erik ten Hag in charge and five signings’
‘Man Utd’s super 25-man squad for next season with Erik ten Hag in charge and six signings’
We want seven! We want seven!
Among those stories, we are told that Manchester United would like to make ‘their fifth ideal summer signing’ a ‘young centre-forward’, so who do they suggest?
‘United have been put forward as having interest in Tottenham’s Harry Kane, even if Spurs may try and price their rivals out of a deal.’
We’re not sure what’s worse there? The ‘may‘ or the idea that Kane – 29 this summer – still counts as a ‘young centre-forward’. Mind you, relative to Ronaldo…
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